Saturday, December 26, 2009
I know it is the 26th of December. I remember. We made it through with no casualties. I am shell shocked. I feel somewhat like Poland did when Hitler was looking over her shoulder and about to pounce. The other shoe is poised and waiting to drop. War is quietly and strategically being waged. I like open warfare. I am not clever about espionage and subterfuge.
I digress. Back to Christmas. The Christmas eve candlelight service ran on and on. One and one half hours long. Mercy!!! We should have stayed at the party and had one more glass of wine. Christmas morning was small and uneventful. Friends have been helpful. Knitting has been tranquil. The kids have been quiet. Evan has disappeared. Brynn is off to LA to have fun with friends. Ryan keeps pointing out (out loud) every little thing that is different.
I have tried escaping myself and find it disconcerting. I have left the house and Don has done some Dad duty. I wanted to be alone and although I was not lonely, it was surreal. I want to be in my own home. I want to celebrate. I want snow. I want good Christmas. I want to sit on Santa's lap. I want normal and know I will never have it again...