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Monday, November 23, 2009

CCP- Community College Poignancy

I have talked about my return to school. It was a knee jerk reaction to abandonment. I immediately decided that in order to take care of my family, I needed a career. Since I had nothing readily available, education was my first and foremost thought. I was making appointments with college counselors within a week.

I enrolled in two classes with trepidation. Could the brain work? Could I fit in? Could I walk up and down the hilly campus w/o passing out? Honestly, from the parking lot to my classroom was 1/2 a mile uphill!

I began the journey on August 24th, fresh from an emotional beating in MI, raw from the home life, with nothing but pure old blind determination to get up and put one foot in front of the other. The first two weeks were tough. Holy ****, I felt smarter and older than my instructors (true about one, not the other). I felt like I could not manage the work loads. I was feeling bitter. I felt like I had made a mistake.

Deep breaths. Time management. Study habits. Brain stimulation. Study buddies. Enlightenment. Twelve weeks into this sixteen week semester, I have A's in both classes and I am second in my class in math! Yowser! I am thankful and I am grateful. It turns out going to school is an indulgent luxury.

Where does this all get poignant? With my study buddies. I have met and gathered a group of fellow students around me. We help each other study, write papers and take tests. We have become comfortable enough to share some of our stories. I always knew that most kids that want to get a higher education do not go to bed and dream of which community college they can apply to. Now I know, we are all there because we have a story.

Some of these kids have no parental support, financially or emotionally. Some had rough starts. They have overcome a drug or drink addiction. Some are post military. Some are seeking a career following a major life change such as job loss, divorce or even death. One young lady lost her Dad to cancer just two weeks ago. She had a great GPA at Torrey Pines High School and planned to go away to a big university when he was diagnosed. She could not bear to leave him. Now he is gone, and I pray that she will follow her dreams. I encourage her and love on her. I love on all of them. This is a determined group of people and I am proud to be part of this broken little band of students.

I am determined to follow my dream. I have thought about becomming a nurse for many, many years. I may be the oldest nurse graduate in the State by the time I get accepted into a program and make it through. I will prevail, God willing.

Once upon a time, my spouse and I would talk about a retirement plan that included Peace Corp or mission work around this great big world. That is a dream that an old nurse can fulfill. Inoculating babies, emergency medical relief, you name it, I want to do it.

I want my CCP kids to do it. (They are all kids to me.) I must go now and take my History Midterm Part II. My peeps are waiting. My History friends are especially excited to work with me. The history we study includes the years lived by my grandparents, my parents and myself. Who knew being old would be a such a plus!


Anonymous said...

Like my mother used to always have to give it a good old college try! And hot damn, you're doing just that!

You will make a very fine and compassionate nurse. My hope is that you will continue to make a positive difference in the lives of others, hopefully while seeing the world!

And last but not least...congrats on those "A's"

Anonymous said...

After all these years, still Mother Marsha! I don't know what I would have done without your friendship and guidance at FSU. I am so happy that in the midst of all the BS that you are going through and feeling that you can also feel a sense of personal fulfillment that is yours alone. We are the only ones who can make ourselves happy, and one thing you will never lose again is your sense of independence. You go girl! My grandma always said that a door closed will be a window opened. I have lived by that for 15 years now, and I am better for it. Love you. Dawn